Well, maybe we can sing the tune of "Ding dong, the blogs are dead." (Nod to Annonymous commenter) Actually you could probably sing that about this blog too.... Not that it was ever alive to begin with. Anyways.
Just read through "SGM is Boring" on one of the sites. It's a bummer they wrote a blog with that title, (Actually I never read the whole thing, just the title) I was thinking the same thing about Anti SGM Sites. They bore me. Exceedingly. I haven't even taken a peek for months. I kept waiting for the "Bombshell" that was promised. I kept waiting to hear about how the corruption of SGM would come to fruition and we would crumble like a sand castle against the onslaught of the charges brought against us. **Yawn**
It was then it suddenly dawned on me. No one cares. The popularity of these sites were vastly over exaggerated. I honestly forgot that they even existed. My soul benefited from not reading the words written on those sites for these past months.
Hmmm, I cut something out of my diet and I became healthier. Sounds like a slam dunk to me.
For all you SGMers out there, keep doing your deal. Take it from one who's experienced the healing from chronic Anti SGM site reading. Reading words of gossip and slander take such a toll on one's soul. Don't even bother. Also don't anyone feel like they need to defend SGM, there wasn't ever anything substantial to defend against. God alone will defend us against those who bring accusation. There is no algebraic equation or metaphor, or logic, or reason that can be used to dissuade those who have viewed their time in SGM as "Dark Days."
Let them continue to rail and point out our flaws. It matters not. We have borne them well and shall be better for it. Besides some of them I believe to be genuine Christians, we may just end up standing next to them as we worship the Savior in heaven on day.
I'm checking out of the blog scene. My Sovereign Grace local church is where I'm spending my free time. To everyone who has commented, thanks for being good sports and steer clear of reading/writing gossip. You'll feel better/heal faster :)
The Satirist.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Really?!?!
April 7th 2009 "jim" wrote:
"The situation at CLC is an abomination. The pastors influence over the wife apparently did not include an encouragement to keep this quiet. She let the genie out of the bottle to the extent that the details have made it to my inbox.
Gentlemen, when all is said and done in this case, I’m going to make you famous.
I promise."
I may be reading this wrong, and Jim, please chime in if I am, this sounds like a threat. Are the gentlemen that you refer to anyone in leadership in SG? "I'm going to make you famous"? Really Jim?! Do you think you are in an espionage war or something? Do you think you are Jack Bauer with some damning evidence in your "inbox" that you can use to leverage a response from CJ? Will you resort to breaking into CJ's office, use a knife under his eyeball to get him to "talk"?
Are. You. Serious?
You take many liberties with your perceived knowledge my friend. How's your investigation going? Is the reformed "big dog" ready to march into CJ's office with your large manila envelope of offensive documentation and demand that CJ be "relieved of command"? I've been waiting to hear news of this "bombshell" but have only heard good reports and good things about SGM.
A brief aside. I remember the first time I saw a picture of you and noted that you have a remarkable resemblance to the Hughes Family. Then I read your comment about wanting the comments to stay away from Bob Hughes saying, "Not everything is meant for the Internet." This stopped me in my tracks. It was a notable change in your M.O. of "Everything damming SGM belongs on the Internet." Are you related to the Hughes or do you know Bob personally? This sudden switch in your personality was very intriguing. Could you elaborate possibly?
"The situation at CLC is an abomination. The pastors influence over the wife apparently did not include an encouragement to keep this quiet. She let the genie out of the bottle to the extent that the details have made it to my inbox.
Gentlemen, when all is said and done in this case, I’m going to make you famous.
I promise."
I may be reading this wrong, and Jim, please chime in if I am, this sounds like a threat. Are the gentlemen that you refer to anyone in leadership in SG? "I'm going to make you famous"? Really Jim?! Do you think you are in an espionage war or something? Do you think you are Jack Bauer with some damning evidence in your "inbox" that you can use to leverage a response from CJ? Will you resort to breaking into CJ's office, use a knife under his eyeball to get him to "talk"?
Are. You. Serious?
You take many liberties with your perceived knowledge my friend. How's your investigation going? Is the reformed "big dog" ready to march into CJ's office with your large manila envelope of offensive documentation and demand that CJ be "relieved of command"? I've been waiting to hear news of this "bombshell" but have only heard good reports and good things about SGM.
A brief aside. I remember the first time I saw a picture of you and noted that you have a remarkable resemblance to the Hughes Family. Then I read your comment about wanting the comments to stay away from Bob Hughes saying, "Not everything is meant for the Internet." This stopped me in my tracks. It was a notable change in your M.O. of "Everything damming SGM belongs on the Internet." Are you related to the Hughes or do you know Bob personally? This sudden switch in your personality was very intriguing. Could you elaborate possibly?
Annonymous Commenting.
Thanks to some of our annonymous commentors. We were unaware that some of the anti SGM websites were run by self admittedly divorced older women. In hindsight, the things that we perused on those various sites makes much more sense in that light. Hell certainly casts an evious eye to the fury incited by the scorn found in those words. There's an old adage that speaks of this isn't there??
Unlike these sites, we would like to encourage annonymous posting here. We promise we will not track your IP address and figure out where you are. ::rolls eyes:: Contrastly, we don't measure our success by the amount of comments we receive or where we think you are commenting from. Your identity is safe here and your comments are welcome. Be warned however, commenters from anti SGM sites will inevitably drift over here from time to time and badger what you say if you use any sort of Biblical truth or logic. Please don't get dragged down by their vain arguments. It's ok. Take a deep breath and remember these are scorned women. "It's better to live in a desert land than with a quarellsome and fretful woman." Pro 21:19
Aint that the truth.
Unlike these sites, we would like to encourage annonymous posting here. We promise we will not track your IP address and figure out where you are. ::rolls eyes:: Contrastly, we don't measure our success by the amount of comments we receive or where we think you are commenting from. Your identity is safe here and your comments are welcome. Be warned however, commenters from anti SGM sites will inevitably drift over here from time to time and badger what you say if you use any sort of Biblical truth or logic. Please don't get dragged down by their vain arguments. It's ok. Take a deep breath and remember these are scorned women. "It's better to live in a desert land than with a quarellsome and fretful woman." Pro 21:19
Aint that the truth.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Why you should leave your church right now.
Why You should Leave Your Church Right Now.
By the Staff Editor
I remember attending a christian event while in high school as an observer. I met lots of interesting people most of whom were home schooled. I remember one young kid in particular because upon introducing himself, he informed me that he and his family didn't believe in organized corporate meetings of the church. Without hesitation I simply asked for a Biblical reference that made him and his family believe that God was cool with this. Sadly he couldn't find one and ran off to meet another person and share his conviction that organized church is wrong.
I truly felt bad for the kid, he had been raised by a set of parents who probably got burned by some church somewhere and now those parents are depriving their kids from one of the primary means of sanctification God uses in our lives: The local church.
If a poll were to be taken across America today how many people would raise their hands to this question: "Have you ever had a bad experience at your church?" I don't want to create statistics here but I would have to guess the percentage would be quite high. Heck, I'd even raise my hand. Oddly, this surprises people.
Matthew 7:14 "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Emphasis mine)
The early church had mad problems and issues, serious issues. But today people experience their pastor not followintheir g advice on what the direction of the church should be and then act hurt like the pastor called them an idiot and threatened to stone them publicly. A brief aside: Direction of the church is not your call. It's God's call. And it's the responsibility of the Senior Pastor to hear and obey what God instructs. If you disagree with your church's direction (unless the direction is clearly not biblical) don't try to change it. The church is like a ship, and the Senior pastor is at the helm, God is the wind and the rest of us work with the helmsman to run the ship smoothly. If navigating by popular opinion is your idea of a good church, please go find zen atop Nepal. You'll do far less damage there. (And will probably be happier)
Thinking about leaving your church? If you are at that point in your thinking, then you should just find somewhere else to go. Does your church not "meet your needs?" Find another religion then. If your reason for leaving a church is based on it's inability to meet your specific needs then I would seriously rethink your salvation. What a slap in God's face! "God, I know you are all knowing and all powerful and that you have what is best for me, however this local church you placed me in isn't going in the direction I feel is best for me, I'm bailing."
If you think the church is here only to serve you, boy do you have some serious theological wires crossed. I would humbly suggest a alternative. Try this: The next time you feel like your local church is not meeting your spiritual needs try serving others. Try making a meal for a new mom, try asking your pastor for suggestions in which ministry you should serve in. Try attending your small group meeting ready to participate consistently. Seriously, try it.
By the Staff Editor
I remember attending a christian event while in high school as an observer. I met lots of interesting people most of whom were home schooled. I remember one young kid in particular because upon introducing himself, he informed me that he and his family didn't believe in organized corporate meetings of the church. Without hesitation I simply asked for a Biblical reference that made him and his family believe that God was cool with this. Sadly he couldn't find one and ran off to meet another person and share his conviction that organized church is wrong.
I truly felt bad for the kid, he had been raised by a set of parents who probably got burned by some church somewhere and now those parents are depriving their kids from one of the primary means of sanctification God uses in our lives: The local church.
If a poll were to be taken across America today how many people would raise their hands to this question: "Have you ever had a bad experience at your church?" I don't want to create statistics here but I would have to guess the percentage would be quite high. Heck, I'd even raise my hand. Oddly, this surprises people.
Matthew 7:14 "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Emphasis mine)
The early church had mad problems and issues, serious issues. But today people experience their pastor not followintheir g advice on what the direction of the church should be and then act hurt like the pastor called them an idiot and threatened to stone them publicly. A brief aside: Direction of the church is not your call. It's God's call. And it's the responsibility of the Senior Pastor to hear and obey what God instructs. If you disagree with your church's direction (unless the direction is clearly not biblical) don't try to change it. The church is like a ship, and the Senior pastor is at the helm, God is the wind and the rest of us work with the helmsman to run the ship smoothly. If navigating by popular opinion is your idea of a good church, please go find zen atop Nepal. You'll do far less damage there. (And will probably be happier)
Thinking about leaving your church? If you are at that point in your thinking, then you should just find somewhere else to go. Does your church not "meet your needs?" Find another religion then. If your reason for leaving a church is based on it's inability to meet your specific needs then I would seriously rethink your salvation. What a slap in God's face! "God, I know you are all knowing and all powerful and that you have what is best for me, however this local church you placed me in isn't going in the direction I feel is best for me, I'm bailing."
If you think the church is here only to serve you, boy do you have some serious theological wires crossed. I would humbly suggest a alternative. Try this: The next time you feel like your local church is not meeting your spiritual needs try serving others. Try making a meal for a new mom, try asking your pastor for suggestions in which ministry you should serve in. Try attending your small group meeting ready to participate consistently. Seriously, try it.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thank you Sir, may I have another?
Our apologies. Some of us were on vacation. Mexico's beaches are pretty fine this time of year ;)
We're actually a bit over the rantings of SGMsurvivors.com and SGM refuge.com, one would think there is a progression of grievances based off their bitter words. In fact, it's the same old stuff repackaged and rewritten with a little help from a pocket thesaurus to dazzle their readers with large and psuedo-intellectual words and ideas. We aren't so easily impressed.
The idea of, "you can't change another person" is true regardless of whether you believe it or not. Bear in mind, we don't want to change them, we understand there is no way we even could! There isn't even a logical way to begin to understand them. One of the blogs spends some of their time making the case that SGM is a cult. Their distorted views of what SGM is all about, is only outdone by their bazen disregard for actually being a Christian. They say with their actions and ideas, "Hey! I don't like the way you are pursuing God and I don't like the way that God is using you, Here, let me help you see clearly."
WHAAAAM!
The obfuscation sure feels a lot like a rough hewn 2x4 smacking my eyeball.
This whole thing is something that would make a great SNL skit. A group of people (not a part of another group) making every effort to change the other group while at the same time putting down that group. Really?! Any group that would be shut down if they got what they lobbied for should be automatically disregarded.
We don't lobby for anything. We just report our perspective. And we have fun doing it. We will sit here in our little offices smoke pipes, drink beer, and read Spurgeon and chuckle at all the people who can't live their lives without bitching about someone else.
Bob Newhart said it best, so we echo with him: "STOP IT OR I'LL BURY YOU ALIVE IN A BOX!!!!"
Watch it here.
We're actually a bit over the rantings of SGMsurvivors.com and SGM refuge.com, one would think there is a progression of grievances based off their bitter words. In fact, it's the same old stuff repackaged and rewritten with a little help from a pocket thesaurus to dazzle their readers with large and psuedo-intellectual words and ideas. We aren't so easily impressed.
The idea of, "you can't change another person" is true regardless of whether you believe it or not. Bear in mind, we don't want to change them, we understand there is no way we even could! There isn't even a logical way to begin to understand them. One of the blogs spends some of their time making the case that SGM is a cult. Their distorted views of what SGM is all about, is only outdone by their bazen disregard for actually being a Christian. They say with their actions and ideas, "Hey! I don't like the way you are pursuing God and I don't like the way that God is using you, Here, let me help you see clearly."
WHAAAAM!
The obfuscation sure feels a lot like a rough hewn 2x4 smacking my eyeball.
This whole thing is something that would make a great SNL skit. A group of people (not a part of another group) making every effort to change the other group while at the same time putting down that group. Really?! Any group that would be shut down if they got what they lobbied for should be automatically disregarded.
We don't lobby for anything. We just report our perspective. And we have fun doing it. We will sit here in our little offices smoke pipes, drink beer, and read Spurgeon and chuckle at all the people who can't live their lives without bitching about someone else.
Bob Newhart said it best, so we echo with him: "STOP IT OR I'LL BURY YOU ALIVE IN A BOX!!!!"
Watch it here.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It's all about Roy.
It's funny we are being called to apologize for a prank we sorely wish we had thought of first. We were admittedly a little confused as to what had gone done over at SGMsurvivors.com concerning a person called Roy Baylor. (Which we think is a character from a John Grisham novel) We are flattered that you all think we did this prank, hoax, clever illustration, yet we cannot in good conscience accept the credit. After a few private emails with "Roy" it became clear that we had both employed the very same Proxy Switcher program and both had the idea of bouncing our IP's around the world and through Starbucks that were close to SGM churches around the states. This simply proves that great minds think alike. Although we would like to apologize to "Roy" for our part in uncovering his very funny story. To Roy: Our bad man, but we gotta keep our identities clean beause these people are crazy, if they found out who we were they'd go livid. Yeesh.
Roy posted his response here.
Good for him. The whole thing is so very funny and ridiculous at the same time, hopefully SOMETHING will get through to these people.
"Roy": you will be missed. Email us sometime in the future, we'd love to hear the full story from your perspective.
Roy posted his response here.
Good for him. The whole thing is so very funny and ridiculous at the same time, hopefully SOMETHING will get through to these people.
"Roy": you will be missed. Email us sometime in the future, we'd love to hear the full story from your perspective.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Keeping Record of Wrong
The purpose of this satire is to emulate in jest in order to prove a point. Everyone should have a problem with this blog. If you disagree with SGM's practices and leadership you should have issues with this blog, if you are an ardent supporter of SGM's practices and leadership you should have issues with this blog. This blog is a mirrored representation of how sgmrefuge.com and sgmsurvivors.com do things, albeit to logical conclusion. The fact that people from those sites (we apologize for not being pinpoint accurate with phrases like "people from those sites," we trust you know who we're talking about.) are disagreeing with this blog's posts and our subsequent comments is ironic. We do as you do. If you gotta problem with us it does pose an interesting dilemma.
One could make the argument that we aren't in this business to help people who are hurting and that's what makes us different than the anti-sgm sites. If that's true then is anything ok to do as long as it's in the name of helping people? Ok, so we're aware that that's a drawing the line logical fallacy. But we aren't trying to prove that we are exactly like those other site. (These other sites? Jim's Site, Kris's Site?) We don't keep a whole list of things that we think is wrong with these sites. They are simply put: Not Biblical. If this blog is a mirror image of a non biblical blog, the argument of "oh yeah, well this blog is doing what you said WE are doing wrong" more proves what we are doing. Well duh! That's what satire is genius! If you see something wrong with this site and what is said here, follow to what we are pointing to. If someone goes around punching people in the mouth thinking it's ok, how soon will he change his ways if someone emulates him? He thinks, "Oooo, so THATS how that feels, I don't think thats the right thing to be doing."
How silly to have that man look back at you and say, "What you are doing is wrong!" and then continue. *chuckles* We would call that man crazy.
The response from these other sites is the same everytime anything is said against them. "Well what about YOU?" Oddly enough, this practice is one that the majority of them claim that SGM leadership does just that; puts the spotlight back to the individual and asks about THEIR heart. Well, I'm sorry, isn't that his job? If you gotta problem with your pastor checking on your heart, the very thing you need at this moment is a good solid heart check from a pastor. But wait, my pastor isn't perfect and he sins. I need to be the one to show him this. *Eyes rolling* Oh brother.
One could make the argument that we aren't in this business to help people who are hurting and that's what makes us different than the anti-sgm sites. If that's true then is anything ok to do as long as it's in the name of helping people? Ok, so we're aware that that's a drawing the line logical fallacy. But we aren't trying to prove that we are exactly like those other site. (These other sites? Jim's Site, Kris's Site?) We don't keep a whole list of things that we think is wrong with these sites. They are simply put: Not Biblical. If this blog is a mirror image of a non biblical blog, the argument of "oh yeah, well this blog is doing what you said WE are doing wrong" more proves what we are doing. Well duh! That's what satire is genius! If you see something wrong with this site and what is said here, follow to what we are pointing to. If someone goes around punching people in the mouth thinking it's ok, how soon will he change his ways if someone emulates him? He thinks, "Oooo, so THATS how that feels, I don't think thats the right thing to be doing."
How silly to have that man look back at you and say, "What you are doing is wrong!" and then continue. *chuckles* We would call that man crazy.
The response from these other sites is the same everytime anything is said against them. "Well what about YOU?" Oddly enough, this practice is one that the majority of them claim that SGM leadership does just that; puts the spotlight back to the individual and asks about THEIR heart. Well, I'm sorry, isn't that his job? If you gotta problem with your pastor checking on your heart, the very thing you need at this moment is a good solid heart check from a pastor. But wait, my pastor isn't perfect and he sins. I need to be the one to show him this. *Eyes rolling* Oh brother.
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