It's all about Roy.

It's funny we are being called to apologize for a prank we sorely wish we had thought of first. We were admittedly a little confused as to what had gone done over at SGMsurvivors.com concerning a person called Roy Baylor. (Which we think is a character from a John Grisham novel) We are flattered that you all think we did this prank, hoax, clever illustration, yet we cannot in good conscience accept the credit. After a few private emails with "Roy" it became clear that we had both employed the very same Proxy Switcher program and both had the idea of bouncing our IP's around the world and through Starbucks that were close to SGM churches around the states. This simply proves that great minds think alike. Although we would like to apologize to "Roy" for our part in uncovering his very funny story. To Roy: Our bad man, but we gotta keep our identities clean beause these people are crazy, if they found out who we were they'd go livid. Yeesh.

Roy posted his response here.

Good for him. The whole thing is so very funny and ridiculous at the same time, hopefully SOMETHING will get through to these people.

"Roy": you will be missed. Email us sometime in the future, we'd love to hear the full story from your perspective.

Keeping Record of Wrong

The purpose of this satire is to emulate in jest in order to prove a point. Everyone should have a problem with this blog. If you disagree with SGM's practices and leadership you should have issues with this blog, if you are an ardent supporter of SGM's practices and leadership you should have issues with this blog. This blog is a mirrored representation of how sgmrefuge.com and sgmsurvivors.com do things, albeit to logical conclusion. The fact that people from those sites (we apologize for not being pinpoint accurate with phrases like "people from those sites," we trust you know who we're talking about.) are disagreeing with this blog's posts and our subsequent comments is ironic. We do as you do. If you gotta problem with us it does pose an interesting dilemma.
One could make the argument that we aren't in this business to help people who are hurting and that's what makes us different than the anti-sgm sites. If that's true then is anything ok to do as long as it's in the name of helping people? Ok, so we're aware that that's a drawing the line logical fallacy. But we aren't trying to prove that we are exactly like those other site. (These other sites? Jim's Site, Kris's Site?) We don't keep a whole list of things that we think is wrong with these sites. They are simply put: Not Biblical. If this blog is a mirror image of a non biblical blog, the argument of "oh yeah, well this blog is doing what you said WE are doing wrong" more proves what we are doing. Well duh! That's what satire is genius! If you see something wrong with this site and what is said here, follow to what we are pointing to. If someone goes around punching people in the mouth thinking it's ok, how soon will he change his ways if someone emulates him? He thinks, "Oooo, so THATS how that feels, I don't think thats the right thing to be doing."
How silly to have that man look back at you and say, "What you are doing is wrong!" and then continue. *chuckles* We would call that man crazy.
The response from these other sites is the same everytime anything is said against them. "Well what about YOU?" Oddly enough, this practice is one that the majority of them claim that SGM leadership does just that; puts the spotlight back to the individual and asks about THEIR heart. Well, I'm sorry, isn't that his job? If you gotta problem with your pastor checking on your heart, the very thing you need at this moment is a good solid heart check from a pastor. But wait, my pastor isn't perfect and he sins. I need to be the one to show him this. *Eyes rolling* Oh brother.

Why we do what we do.

Simply put, this blog exists because there is no response to the anti sgm sites in question. Nothing will appease them except for SGM to change things according to SGMsurvivors and SGMrefuge's standpoints. We still find this wildly funny. The thesis statement (as far as we can tell) of these web blogs is thus: WE think SGM should change to what WE think it should look like. (Oh btw, many of these people left over disagreements with SGM) We thought when you disagreed with a group or organization you just left it. We disagree with PETA, our weblog over at petasurvivors.com is a list of demands for how PETA should change what they believe and think.
This is humorous on so many levels. First, there seems to be a fascination with SGM. These people left or according to some were loaded into a medieval trebuchet and catapulted off the church grounds and are now enviously looking back at that church wishing they could be there again. There seems to be way too much concern for trying to change others that radiates from these sites. Wasn't the idea of "you can't change anyone else" self evident the first time you heard it?
Well, determined to prove that biblical principle wrong outright, these web sites really put the time and effort in.
Everything remotely connected to SGM is wrong to some degree. Even the authors that SGM likes can't escape these blogs wrath. The girltalk blog is attacked for having a picture of smiling girls on the front and without reading the actual blog posts the entire site is condemned for being stepford wife-ish based on the front picture. Jerry Bridges is attacked for writing a book entitled, "The Joy of Fearing God." It's attacked by people who never read the book, they literally judged the book by it's title and cover. Rich Richardson is attacked for publicly apologizing to his church, it was said that he only apoligized to the richest person in the church so he wouldn't lose their tithe. The list continues ad vomitum. We've yet to hear one of the "regulars" on these (those) sites who has anything nice to say about SGM. We'll take something as little as, "they picked a good color carpet for the sanctuary." The reality is: according to these antiSGM weblogs, there is no good whatsoever in SGM. The people there actualy encourage people to leave their SGM church. If this isn't division and dissension then we don't know what is. The fact that SGMrefuge is over here commenting about our syntax and grammar is an indication of this blog hitting a very raw nerve. We understand people are hurting, but lets be honest, everyone experiences this. The public record of offenses is expressly PROHIBITED by the very word of God. It will in no way contribute to healing of past offenses. You must adopt a Nike mindset, "Just Do It." If a Pastor has offended you or sinned against you, will you freaking forgive him already?! If SGM has injured you greviously will you please just forgive the organization as a whole? If CJ has sinned against you, forgive the poor man and don't mount an assault on him. Don't collect mounds of information on all the instances of Pastors screwing up or leaders not being the perfect people that you set in your expectations with the intent of telling CJ his movement is crumbling. Who does that? What an earthly, worldy mindset. Christian vigilante justice in the form of extreme "observation" is stealing glory from God, and God will not be mocked. He is universally opposed to it. God says He will give Grace to the humble man and oppose the proud. From where we sit, the absence of CJ and the other leaders coming onto your sites to defend themselves (if you are all truly right in how big your influence is) is the mark of a humble man. The secretive plans and gossiping slander of the people who are injured, making sure that no one ever forgets how they were wronged is the mark of an outwardly proud and arrogant individual and God promises His opposition to you and your endeavors.

Response to comments.

First of all, we here at Anti SGM Satire Inc. take personal offense at being called "not funny" especially from an Anonymous commenter. To set the record straight, we are damn funny. The humor found in this blog is found only by those not blinded by their own hate of SGM. Well of COURSE you won't find humor in this blog. What's the "duh" factor on that one? Did you think this blog was for your enjoyment?
SGMsurvivors.com and SGMrefuge.com have drawn the line in the sand. They have chosen the battlefield and the weapons. The battlefield is the Internet and the weapon is attacking pastors who wont (because they don't have to) defend themselves. It's a horribly one-sided battle. Should any pastor from SGM attempt to (I roll my eyes at the sheer absurdity of it) post a comment on these sites, how do you think that situation will differ from a piranha feeding frenzy? You all have whipped yourselves into a frenzied stupor in which CJ is the anti-Christ and SGM is Big Brother. And anything that even has a stamp of approval from SGM is horrid and evil. Let's consider this standpoint for a moment.
Ok Done.
Yes it IS actually as absurd as it sounds. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything.
The people on these sites don't want reconciliation, they turned down peacemaker for crying out loud, a disinterested third party. Yes, this simply screams the desire to make all things right. The two sites in question are nothing more that a forum to whine and cry about things that make them upset. Don't you guys get it?! Yes bad stuff does happen to good people. Yes pastors screw up, yes situations could've been handled differently. These things are not license to air your offenses publicly.

And to respond to the kook who denied God His Sovereignty. If God is not Sovereign over everything, then He is not God. If you have a God who is not in complete control over every single atom in the entire universe, if there is one rogue cell that exists outside of God's hand: Then He is not a God worth serving or worshipping. If this is your view of God, then I am sorry. And so is God.

Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and spend time in jail. He suffered. That must've really stung, people close to him offended him and injured him. What was his response? "You big meanies, I'm gonna post on Pharaoh's blog all the bad evil things you did me so that everyone can be warned of your evil deeds." Hardly. Please.

His response was one of understanding of God's Sovereignty. "What you meant for evil, God meant for good." Does this mean that God allows suffering, that He sovereignly condones suffering?! OF COURSE HE DOES. You think that you've got a better grasp on the situations of people with offenses in SGM than God does?! How do you suppose God views this? Well we know how He feels about this. This was the same attitude that Lucifer had. Look where that damned logic got him.

It wasn't a midevil thing it's a God thing that's been in place before there was even the invention of time. To oppose this idea is to oppose the very character of God. Let us know how that works out for ya.

Consider the Tabloid

I often wonder about why tabloid's are still in business. Everyone knows that they are filled with nonsense and lies. The "reporting" in tabloids follow a simple rule: if it will sell, write it. Thus, tabloids are a pell-mell arrangement of unappealing photographs with libelous captions meant to incite a myriad of emotions; mostly anger or shock. They are accountable to no one. That last part is the dangerous one. The Associated Press could not get away (at least not to the same degree) with the same tactics of bad reporting and false testimony. They are respected and dedicated to being professional reporting agency.

That all being said. sgmsurvivors.com and sgmrefuge.com are nothing more than your run-of-the-mill supermarket tabloid. They are accountable to no one. No one checks their facts. No one checks up on the user posts to see if they can be verified. Anyone can post or comment on these sites and it's taken as gospel truth. Now that I think about it, it's replaced gospel truth. The people who run these sites are simply encouraging those who are hurt to stay in their hurt and vomit every problem SGM has. Which by the way, SGM is grateful for, God wants an unjured party to keep record of wrongs in a very public manner so the offender can have a readily available list of things they need to work on.

I am predicting that some of the grievous "stories" of how evil and diabolical SGM pastors are going to have the spotlight of truth shined on them soon and they will tumble like a house of cards. This will be the webblog's own fault. They claim to be growing in influence and yet I see no responsibility in leadership in the area of fact-checking.

Fact-checking is such a waste in reality. Why bother to report, comment, or even consider anything that's actually true and verified? It's much easier to hear someone new come onto your blog and start railing on the same things you are railing on and assume everything they say is true. How utterly irresponsible, and how foolishly stupid. Now there is an squad (i was going to say army but--) of bloggers who are united only by their common target. Funny how they picked a target (SGM Pastors) who wont fight back. Is this not the trait of a coward? Imagine the elation of being in a position where if the person you are slandering comes forth to defend himself, you are validated and somehow made right by the very fact he stepped up to defend.
If I could roll my eyes any more I'd go into redout.
If it wasn't so God damned wrong I'd be impressed. (And yes, thats an appropriate use of that phrase.) God actually does damn the gossip, slanderer, and those that keep record of wrongs.

Sgmrefuge and sgmsurvivor, you should pack up and all go back to your churches and work things out without assuming you are right. By not doing this you are causing division while shaking your fist at God, not believing that He's actually in control of whatever situation at any given SGM church. The existence of both your sites is a monument to your incredibly brash and public lack of belief in the sovereignty of God. I wouldn't be rejoicing in getting more hits each month to your monument of unbelief. Seems a bit brazen in the presence of an almighty God.